–Anaïs Nin [Significant Paraphrasing, See Source Notes]
Quote Number: 975
Source: Nin, Anaïs. Anaïs Nin to Henry Miller, February 13, 1932. In A Literate Passion: Letters of Anais Nin and Henry Miller, 1932-1953. Edited by Gunther Stuhlmann. Harcourt Brace & Company: San Diego. 1989. Pg 10. Online Here.
Source Notes: I searched hard for this exact quote, but could not find it in any source. However, I found a source that listed it as being from a letter to Henry Miller. In the above source many part of the quote appear together in a much longer quote, and it is very likely that this quote was paraphrased to make this quote. Below is the original quote as it appears in the source, with the above quote marked red:
But–June continues to live and die–and I–(oh, god, I hate my own work, I’d much rather just live)–I sit down and try to tell you–to tell you that I’d much rather go on living ecstatically and unknowing to you–to all–and you beat your head against the wall of our world, yes, and it is I because of my demoniac creative power of realization and coordinating mystery–I who will tear veils. But not yet. I don’t want to. I love my mystery, I love the abstract, fuyant world I live in as long as I don’t begin my work, the forcing out of delicate, profound, vague, obscure, voluptuously wordless sensations into something you can seize on–perhaps never. Perhaps I’ll renounce my mind, my works, my effort, and merely live, suffer, wallow, elude your knowledge, your seizure of either June or me.