1128 – “When we shit we forget our airs and our graces, we forget how famous we or how rich we are. All of that goes away. You are never more yourself than when you’re taking a shit. You have that moment where you realize, This is me. This is who I am.

– Trevor Noah

1116 – “Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.”

-anonymous

967 – Cave Johnson on Life’s Lemons

“When life gives you lemons? Don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?! Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am?! I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

– Cave Johnson (Voiced by J K Simmons) in Valve Corporation’s Portal 2

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964 – “Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to Hell is such a way that they look forward to the trip.”

-anonymous [See Source Notes about Attribution]

939 – “You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.”

-Tina Fey [Attributed]

681 – “I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell – you see, I have friends in both places.”

–anonymous [See Source Notes]

483 – “If there were no electricity, we would all be watching our television by candlelight.” | “Just think, if the string on Benjamin Franklin’s kite had broken, tonight we’d all be watching TV by candlelight!”

–George Gobel [See Source Notes]

459 – “Nonsense wakes up the brain cells. And it helps develop a sense of humor, which is awfully important in this day and age. Humor has a tremendous place in this sordid world. It’s more than just a matter of laughing. If you can see things out of whack, then you can see how things can be in whack.”

–Dr Seuss

457 – “I live in the present due to the constraints of the Space-Time Continuum.”

–Hank Green [Attributed]